if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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