She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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