so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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