mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
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I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
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I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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