So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
