this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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