My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you didnt know i had herpes?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
