We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
