but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
