This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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