if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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