ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize