I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
