im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
