so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i will never coherently bang her
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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