Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
