I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
