I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Still dying that you shit outside
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
