i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
