also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
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I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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