That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
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i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
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if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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