Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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