I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
