The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
