i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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