i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I need moral support for this bender
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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