Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
it hurts more in the daytime
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Randomize
