I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
