wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize