I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
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