I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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