I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
