hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
