I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Girls should come with a carfax report
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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