Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
