so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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