He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm at about main and main street
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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