how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
