My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
