Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
