so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
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my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
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I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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