i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
A bitchslap is in order.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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