Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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