Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
