How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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