True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I forget how to act sober
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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