very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
