dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize