You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
