no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
