Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
