How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
