i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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