I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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