What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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