theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
