I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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