need another drink. this is the easiest way
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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