I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
