y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
